


It has always been you...

by Carlandoo_love



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Developing Relationship, Disapproving Family, Gay, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:55:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28490487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carlandoo_love/pseuds/Carlandoo_love
Summary: Carlos admits to Lando that he has feelings for him, while still being in a relationship with Isa. His father finds out and does not seem to be impressed by his sons confession.
Relationships: Lando Norris/Carlos Sainz Jr
Kudos: 42





	1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Lando jumped up as he felt a firm hand on his shoulder and he turned around quickly, only to see that it was Carlos that had sneaked up on him. "what are you doing?" he asked a little bit anxious, trying to find out if anyone had noticed. They were at the end of the year celebration in the MTC and after a long buffet dinner and lots of speeches the party had began. Lando himself was not someone who would enjoy a big party like this that much, while Carlos felt more comfortable.

  
"Can we talk?" the Spaniard asked while eying him intense with his cinnamon brown eyes. Lando's felt he started blushing and his cheeks becoming hot. "y-yeah... Of course" he stumbled and he followed Carlos outside the room, but Carlos kept walking and Lando tried to keep up with his pace. "W-where are we going?" he asked a bit unsure, but Carlos didn't respond and kept walking. When he saw that they were heading towards the exit of the building where the parking was, he was even more confused.  
<span;>Only when they were outside Carlos slowed down his pace and all of a sudden turned himself around. Lando saw in his eyes that there was something bothering him, but he could not exactly tell what it was. Carlos started pacing up and down restlessly.

  
"So, there is something that I need to talk to you about" Carlos said while avoiding eye contact with Lando "I just don't know where to start".  
  
Lando was a little bit confused and he took a step closer towards the Spaniard until he was right in front of him. He gently placed his hand on Carlos' cheek and forced him to stand still and look into his eyes, the Spaniard did not pull away, but let him do so. He knew Carlos' eyes were pretty, though he'd never seen them that close. Carlos sighed deeply and felt how dry his mouth was. He tried to open it to finally say something, but Lando had put his index finger against his plumped, pink lips and said "sst... You don't have to talk if you're not comfortable" and he leaned forward to close the gap between them and softly pressed his lips against Carlos' lips, as he did that he felt his heart almost jump out of his chest. Before he could continue to kiss him, Carlos pushed him abruptly away. "W-what...what was that?" he asked almost shocked. Lando felt tears start to form in the corners of his eyes. "I... I thought you would feel the same" he said while avoiding any further eye contact between them and he turned himself around, ready to walk away. But as he wanted to walk away, he felt Carlos' hand around his wrist, turning him around so they were facing each other again. "I... That's what I was going to talk to you about... I, I think I did catch some feelings for you, but they confuse me so much" the Spaniard said while biting his lip "but you know.... I'm scared my father won't accept it, imagine if we would have been caught kissing just now" he added. Lando pulled Carlos into a hug and let his fingers go through his dark and fluffy hair trying to comfort him. "Your father loves you, he will accept it eventually" he said. When they heard footsteps coming he quickly let go of Carlos and stepped aside as if nothing had happened between them.  
  
"ahh there are the two of you, I thought you guys had run off to some better party" Carlos' father said smirking, with Lando and Carlos quickly giving each other a look. "Now what were you guys doing outside here, it's freezing and yet you guys are outside without any jackets?".  
Only then it was that Lando started to realize that they had indeed walked outside without taking their jackets and it wasn't too warm as well. He felt goose bumps on his arms and started to shake.

"We will be there any second" Carlos said to his father, hoping he would go back inside already, which he did. "Ok, but don't make it too long, we need a flight to catch back home later tonight" and Carlos nodded comfirming. When they were 100% sure that Carlos' father had returned to the party, Lando pulled himself closer to the Spaniard again to try and get warm again and looked him deep into his dark cinnamon brown eyes. Lando could literally drown in his eyes.

  
"So you will be flying back to Spain.. Tonight?" Lando asked, sounding quite disappointed. "Unfortunately, yes" said Carlos "But.. That's why I wanted to talk to you now.." he continued. "But.. What about Isa?" Lando asked a bit confused "I thought you were happy with her?". He saw something changed in Carlos' eyes "I was...Until I realized something very important was missing.. You" Carlos said as he looked up at the the Brit, but before he could say something Carlos continued "You see, I never realized that I was falling for you until the moment I signed for Ferrari. I was happy at first, but than I realized that it would mean that I would not be close to you anymore, that we would not share a garage anymore, that we would not make funny videos anymore for social media where I could touch you without it being weird. That we would not be together anymore.. " Lando saw that his eyes became glassy and he saw a fresh tear in the corner of his eye, which he quickly wiped away.  
" I didn't know you were feeling this way, but I also got sad the moment I heard you had signed for Ferrari, because I thought you were leaving because of me" the young Brit said softly.

"You know.. We should probably go back inside before they become suspicious about what we're doing" Carlos mumbled while he let go of Lando. Lando was confused about why all of a sudden Carlos let go of him. "So.. What do you want to do now Carlos? I am confused.... You said you have feelings for me but now what, now you just run off to Spain and I won't see you until the season... " Lando said uncontrollably fast speaking which he always did if he felt unsure or anxious about something, but Carlos stopped him in the middle of his sentence as he hungrily pressed his lips against the young man's lips and he put his hand on Lando's waist pulling him closer to himself. Lando didn't know how long they'd exactly been kissing for until he heard someone clear his throat behind them.  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What happens when Carlos his father sees them kissing? And when will he tell Isa about his feelings for Lando. Also some interesting stuff will happen between them.

"Can one of you two tell me what exactly is going on here?" Lando immediately let go of Carlos and turned around as he heard the Spaniard his father's angry voice behind them. With Carlos clearly looking shocked, trying to find the right words, but clearly seemed to be failing to do so, Lando stepped up and said "it's my fault. I told Carlos about my feelings for him and when he didn't respond I kissed him". The Spaniards father looked at Carlos and said while frowning "is that true son?". Carlos looked at Lando, who was clearly trying to protect him. "No father" Carlos said while still looking at the young one "Yes, Lando did kiss me first, but actually, I asked Lando to come with me because I wanted to tell him that I had fallen in love with him".  
After he said that, he finally dared to look at his father, who seemed clearly disappointed. "Carlos, mi hijo, you're just confused... I know you two were close friends and that this can feel like you are in love with someone, but I cannot accept you being... Gay" he almost said disgusted "Besides, what about Isa. She will be absolutely devastated when she'll find out".  
  
Carlos bit on his lip and then all of a sudden he put his hand on Lando's shoulder and pulled him closer to his side. "I can't help it, but I really want to be with this little muppet here, whether you agree or not. I know Isa will be devastated, and probably she won't understand it, but I will personally talk to her when we get to Spain" he said. Lando was surprised how the Spaniard stood up towards his father, while his father meant everything to him.  
"Oh no" his father said firmly "I don't think that you will be joining me back to Spain tonight, you can go on your own occasion if you want.." Carlos was disappointed by his father's response, though he'd already expected it, it still hurt him and Lando could clearly see how much he struggled to not fall out.  
  
Before Carlos could say anything his father turned around and walked back towards the MTC. He sighed deeply, trying to hide from Lando how much it had hurt him, but there was no way he could hide his pain from the young man. As they were still kind of holding each other, Lando felt that Carlos started shaking and he heard a soft sniffing. Lando turned towards the Spaniard and saw that he had started crying softly and he lifted his head so that he could see into Carlos' big cinnamon brown eyes, who were now all watery and glassy from the tears that had appeared. Lando brought his head closer to Carlos' until their foreheads were touching each other.  
"I know that your fathers opinion means a lot to you, but isn't it more important that you are happy with your life?" Lando whispered softly to him. He could feel a tear from Carlos' face end up on his cheek and he wiped it off. He could feel his heart shrink as he saw Carlos struggling to keep it all together.

  
"Do you want to leave?" Lando asked carefully, thinking it would be better if he wouldn't be confronted with his father anymore. Carlos nodded confirming and said "I.. I just want to go inside to say goodbye to the team". Lando softly took his hand, their fingers intertwined together and nodded. "Ok, let's go then.. And than we're out of here" and he and Carlos walked back to the MTC together where they were already greeted by a few team members who walked past when they walked inside the building again. One of them turned around when he saw the state that Carlos was in. "Are you ok mate?" he asked sounding worried. "I think he ate something wrong" Lando said quickly before Carlos could say anything "so we just came to say goodbye and I will make sure he gets home safe". The engineer nodded his head and gave Carlos a firm handshake "It was an honor to work with you mate", Carlos tried to give him a smile but he knew that he didn't really pull that one off successfully. The engineers walked away and they continued their way back to where the party was, the room was already a bit more empty than before they left. Lando saw Zak in the distance talking with some of the mechanics and the young man pulled Carlos with him towards Zak. Carlos desperately tried to get himself together before Zak would be asking the same question.  
"Hey boys, where were you?" Zak asked the both of them. "Carlos wasn't feeling well so I stayed with him to make sure he was ok" Lando said while eyeing Carlos. "You look a bit pale man" Lando could see that Carlos was really not feeling ok and quickly said "that's why we came to say goodbye for tonight, I was gonna go bring him home. Can't let him drive like that himself right" Lando hoped Zak wouldn't suspect anything, but he nodded "yeah please do that, I wouldn't want him to drive himself either like this. Ok boys, well get better Carlos and we will stay in touch" he said as he still gave Carlos a firm hand. Carlos only then noticed how weak his own grip felt. Zak looked at Lando who had put his arm around Carlos' shoulder to start guiding him back outside again. When they were at Lando's car, he helped Carlos to get into the passengers seat but Carlos didn't seem to want to let him go. "Carlota, please, I can't drive when you keep holding on to me" and Carlos let go, a little bit disappointed. Lando got behind the wheel and started the car, as he did that the radio also softly started to play and he heard the song that they did their headbanging video on. He heard some noise next to him that could be crying or laughing noises, when he looked at Carlos he saw that he was laughing "Do you remember, my Muppet, when we did this headbanging video".  
"oh yes, it was actually my favorite. I think that was one of the first moments I realized I was in love with you".  
  
He heard Carlos stopped laughing and when he looked at him he saw that Carlos' eyes were looking intensely at him, they also seemed to have become darker, as if they were piercing through him. He felt his heart racing in his chest and his hands became sweaty on the steering wheel from the intensity of his eyes looking at him, while trying to focus on the road. He felt a warm hand on his upper leg that was finding its way to his thigh, as he gasped for air when he felt the hand was now stroking his inner thigh, as Carlos was still intensely eyeing him. Lando felt a shiver walk down his spine when Carlos started to run his hand up and down his inner thigh. They drove up to the parking in front of Carlos' apartment and as Lando stopped the car, he was surprised to see that Carlos was still looking at him and his hand was still in the same place. He looked at Carlos lips, they were so plump and pink and they looked soft, so soft he would just want to kiss him, but before he could do something Carlos already came closer with his face and pressed his lips without any hesitation hungrily on Lando's soft lips. Lando put his hand on the back of Carlos' head to pull him deeper into the kiss, their tongues finding their way around each other. He felt Carlos his hand was still on his inner thigh but as their kiss deepened he moved both of his hands gently under Lando's shirt brushing over his warm skin with his fingertips, leaving goosebumps all over his skin. Lando softly let out a moan and he felt Carlos smiling while still kissing him. He started to draw circles around his belly bottom with his fingertips and Lando could not help but let go of their kiss to gasp for some air. All panting from the excitement of the Spaniard his hands on his skin, Lando looked deeply into Carlos' eyes. "We can continue inside... in my bed.... If you want to?" Carlos said while his hands were still teasing Lando by touching all over his belly while he started planting kisses in his neck and on the soft spot behind his ear, leaving Lando to softly whimper and moan. "I see that as a yes" Carlos smirked and he pulled his hands away from Lando's skin so he could climb out of the car. He walked over to Lando's side to help him get out, as they walked to the front door, Carlos was looking for his keys and when he finally found them and they got inside of Carlos' house, he turned himself around to Lando and looked him deep in his eyes.

They only needed one second before their lips became connected into a passionate kiss again and Carlos now managed to take off Lando's shirt, his hands being everywhere on his upper body while Lando was pressing his middle against Carlos'. They had to break their kiss to get some air and Carlos started to place soft kisses in his neck, behind his ear, on his shoulder while his hands were wandering off to the edge of Lando's jeans, for a moment he felt Lando tense up and the Spaniard took his hands off and looked him up in the eyes. "are you ok, do you want me to stop?" Lando shook his head and said "no, I just became a little nervous.. You know I... I've never had..never been" Carlos smiled and cupped Lando's face in his hands "You are safe with me, you know that right? I won't do anything you don't want to do" Lando felt a little uncomfortable looking at him but than looked up and all he could see where the Spaniards big, dark brown eyes that were observing him. "What about if we would just do some kissing?" Carlos proposed, and Lando fully agreed to that.

They both got out of their clothes until they only had their boxers left on and they got under the duvet, Lando snuggled all the way up to the Spaniard, enjoying the skin to skin contact, he wrapped his arms around his waist and buried his head against his chest. Carlos placed a soft kiss on his head while stroking over his back. Lando felt safe in Carlos his arms and he wished he could stay there forever. He looked at the Spaniard who put his hand on Lando's cheek and closed the gap between them by pressing his lips against Lando's. After they had shared some kisses, Lando started to become a bit tired and after they had just ended one of their kisses he snuggled all the way into Carlos again and he closed his eyes, taking in Carlos' smell, which always makes him feel calm. He slowly felt himself drifting off into a deep sleep, Carlos pressed one last kiss on his head before also falling asleep while still holding onto Lando. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys liked it.. I am already writing on the next chapter, just not completely sure yet how I will let this continue but I will try to post as soon as possible again..


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